Fucking southern teenage pregnant bitches - keep your cunting legs shut

I've got the TV on in the background and it's about teenage mothers. Is it just me or is every teenage mother a fucking chav? There must be some 'middle-class' teenage mothers out there, surely? Don't call me Shirley! Why do they have to call them fucking-shite names as well, right fucking chav names they have; Monique, Chantelle, Charmian etc. They'll only grow up to be crack-smoking hoes. Crack, crack, I'll suck for crack!

I think it finally dawned on me today that Ly is coming over in like three days. I don't know how I've coped since last December when she left me. I feel as though I have somewhat detached myself from my life, that I've just gone through the motions without actually doing anything of notice. A pretty sad way to sum up the last 6/7 months of one's life. Hopefully I'll be able to get this planning job in Saskatoon, hopefully it isn't Ly's job though, that would be a right smack in the mouth for her! I could really do with some interviews to keep me going. I'll have to plan my alternative approach - moving to Saskatoon in October. Must start looking at flights, visa, work permit, money situation etc.

Men Behaving Badly is coming on soon. Such a great comedy from the mid-90s. Ah, the glory years, BritPop was kicking off, Four Weddings and a Funeral. Great stuff.

Got so many shitty little jobs that need doing before Ly gets here. But I'm working tomorrow and Tuesday, not that I'm complaining, I'm actually quite grateful for the money. Money that is much needed as I feel that I may have...will have an expensive next couple of weeks. The upside of this is that most of my travel expenses and some entertainment has already been paid for. Ahhh, entertainment...looking forward so much to my Cumberland Ale.

Men Behaving Badly is starting now. Bye.

Blogging for the sake of it

So today the mangager of my beloved Carlisle United decided to further his career by becoming the manager of Preston North End. A team that is hated by Carlisle United. Obviously this news has not been well received by us Carlisle fans. Fuck you Paul Simpson. Fuck you and your reported £220,000 a year job, a double your money job offer. Why did you leave?

I think it's best for all concerned though. The only thing that pissed us off was the fact that it's Preston, and he said earlier this week that there had been no contact whatsoever. Anyways, up the blues!

I wish I could make my blogs more substantial, more interesting, but alas, I cannot.

A little something called soccertainment

So in keeping with recent posts, I'm keeping this short and sweet. As my entire readership is well aware, the greatest sports tournament is now in full swing. I am retracting what I said to Ly, claiming that the World Cup is second only to the Olympics in sporting terms. In reality, the World Cup shits all over the Olympics, most of the events aren't even proper sports. So there.

Anyways, congrats to Ecuador. They look like a strong team and I'd rather have England play Germany in the second round than the South Americans with the Southampton reject upfront. Then again, the same could be said for Crouch - Saints reject.

What I'm trying to say that football is great. If only England can start playing as though they can actually win this fucking cup thingy.

Not much else to report, applying for jobs all over the parish, we'll just see what happens there. And less than a week to go before I get to see my girly. Whoop.

I just don't know what to do with myself

The flat is cleaned, for I have cleaned it. I am no longer hungry, for I have eaten.

So bored. Will go to bed soon, after some Playstation.

First steps towards a visa

So I've just sent an email to the Canadian High Commission in London, asking them the best means for me to legally enter the country. So the wating game begins. I'm actually drinking Tim Horton's hot chocolate at the moment, I'm trying to embrace the 'culture', what more do they want?

Noel Edmonds is God

Noel Edmonds, where did you disappear to during the mid-90s? We know you fell out with the bosses at the BBC, but how dare you take your fantastic TV shows with you? You owe me my early-teenage years.

I have finally decided to try and use the term 'juicy kumquat'. I will try and use it in reference to 'when things ahead are looking good',e.g. The future looks like a juicy kumquat.

I may have smoked some drugs.

So hungry...

Must make food. I've got sauasage, mash, carrots and broccoli on the go, whilst munching on some hob nobs (not a paedophilic reference, but instead a tasty biscuit, whilst supping on a Corona (I owe Paddy so much beer!)

Work was busy today, so busy that I still haven't got round to telling my boss that I have an interview on Tuesday. I know she doesn't need to know, but she probably needs to know the circumstances surrounding me needing another job. Money. There are other reasons, furthering my career with an international property company, my sanity demands a full-time job, social standing, the list goes on. Money doesn't make the world go round, but it helps to pay the bills, and if you don't pay the bills you get threatened with a court summons. Are you happy now BT, now you have your money, all £23.53 of it?

Must also tidy the flat, but that can wait until tomorrow, along with my shave - so itchy. So very itchy.

Purchasing Rocky Horrow Show tickets tomorrow for when Ly comes over. Might try and get her to wear stockings for me. I can but hope.

From curry to paedophilia in three short paragraphs

I have just made delicious curry; carrots, courgette and potato. Fantastic.

Anyway, I am £300 lighter now that I have paid my rent, no thanks to HSBC. I also have an interview on Tuesday, I don't really know which job it's for; but at least it adds to the intrigue. The money should be better then what I'm on now, then again, it can't possibly be much worse!

My blogs are becoming boring and predictable. A bit like my sex life really. My hand is as smooth as baby's bottom. Note to self: Do not use a metaphor that includes babies' bottoms when writing about masterbation - people may get the wrong idea.