Slow down, I move too fast

I hate my fucking bank. I owe them too much, and the money I do have, they won't allow me to withdraw from machines. Well they do now, because I sorted that problem.

Job hunting is going so so. I received a call from a recruitment firm about the possibility of a job interview at another residential/commercial thing place. The upside being they throw money at their employees, so I've heard. So we'll wait and see what happens.

I was also pleasantly surprised by the film version of The DaVinci Code. It keeps to the plot throughout and the casting is very good. Though I do believe that Tom Hanks is looking more and more like Bill Murray - can someone please confirm this for me?

That's it for today. That has been pretty much my entire day. I did laundry too. So there.

Martyn Bell Episode III: A New Hope

Isn't it funny how your mood changes from day-to-day? Still felt a bit low earlier but that could be down to the weed and beer that I had last night.

So today I have applied for jobs in both Calgary and Edmonton, and in all fairness I will need more than a slice of luck to get either job, the applications are alright, saying that, the Calgary application left me exasperated. I've also just managed to have a shower (8pm), funny how you always feel better about things when you're clean! Now I'm looking forward to spaghetti bolognese, trying something different today in the recipe - shredded carrots. So we'll see how that goes.

Really want a beer.

Will stick with water this evening.

A belated birthday shout out to Daniela. It would also be cool if you could provide me with a link to your blog, I can't track it down for love nor money. Believe me, I've tried. Where are those snowboarding pix anyway? Nearly three months later and I still have no photographic evidence of me on the piste!

That's about it for now. Will try and hunt for some more jobs in Canada later. Grrr to political boundaries!

I hate my fucking television

The one show that I look forward to each and every week, Top Gear, has been spoiled by my fucking signal. Why the fuck does my apartment building have to be clad in aluminium? Who the fuck clads an apartment building in aluminium? Still it might improve in time for the repeat tomorrow.

Funny how your mood changes from day-to-day. Perhaps I just want to be unhappy. I'm like Morrissey without the creative genius. Why do I think about things that I know will cut me up? I'm punishing myself for some reason, fuck knows what it is though.

I've just written and re-written this paragraph several times. But everything I type just cuts me up. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'll watch Back to the Future II in a bit, that should keep me happy for a couple of hours. I watched the first one the other night, what a great trilogy.

I have some beers left, I'll drink them and then I'll smoke some weed.

So low.

This is not a retraction, just clarification

So it would appear that my last blog has upset some of my readership. Perhaps I have used some terms which some have found un-PC. I may agree with them, however, I will defend the right to use these terms. Offence, like beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. I have been in numerous occasions where I could have taken offence at people, but I choose not to - because people should be able to think and say what they like - even when I don't agree with what they say. However, if what they say or do breaks the law, then they should expect to face the consequences. I'm not deliberately trying to quote Life of Brian, but we are all individuals. Racism and other types of bigotry aren't just going to disappear. This is a shame, but it ain't going to happen. I'm not being negative here, just trying to be realistic.

Somehow I believe that the day when all of us on this fucked-up place we call earth can hold hands under a great big rainbow will never happen. Why? Because we like any other creature, come into conflict with one another from time to time. I don't want to be a fucking sheep, and do something because 'society' deems it to be 'correct'. Does this make me a bad person? I don't think it does, but others might. Could I give a shit? No.

My tongue is planted very firmly in one's cheek

Why can't people that drive cars in Liverpool use indicators? Am I meant to know when a car is going to fucking turn? Why the fuck do people drive BMWs? Do they know they're hairy monkey cocks? Why have I not got that Bentley I was promised last night by a property developer? Why?

What the fuck is the crack with racism? A gang of Asians killed a black guy in Birmingham, but it was only reported in the media as a murder, whereas when a black or asian is killed by a white guy, it's classed as a racist murder. Is it only white people that are capable of being racist? Let's all stand-up to the white racist aggressor. I'm hated for being white and British, our great empire was based on my ancestors going to far off lands and taking some poor bastards country. We then gave them independence and then they fucked their country up. What a load of tits! Zimbabwe is a great example. Sometimes other countries need to be annexed/invaded.

Every fucker in the world loves the Irish. The Brits went to a country and took it by force, but the Irish were sneaky bastards. Only two people from Ireland ever emigrating to America. Then they breed like rabbits, and two months after getting there, 4,762 come out of the same house. Yet people love them for it. The world is fucked up. The Irish and the Brits are much the same, yet the general opinion of both races differs greatly. That's right race isn't just the colour of one's skin, it's also about culture and traditions, a major point that most people tend to forget.

I'm not too great on my South/Central American history, I'm sure Daniela and Lindell will tear this to pieces, but how the fuck did a few of Cortez's men crush the great empires of the Aztecs and Incas. Surely they can't be that great if a few hundred pissed-up Spanish blokes can conquer pretty much an entire continent.

We are now going to have a new nation in Europe now that Montenegro has decided to split from Serbia. God bless the melting pot of Eastern Europe, what on Earth would we study in 20th Century history if that part of the world wasn't/isn't so fucked up? Franz Ferdinand would need a new name for starters.

The Pope is meant to be elected by God, but we all know that he's elected by cardinals! Does the absence of God from this election process not make the entire faith null and void?

I'll have a dig at Israel as well whilst I'm here. What the fuck is that about? In the bible it states that God will tell the Jews when they can have their own fucking country, anyway, land was set aside in modern-day Ethiopia for this. Fucking racist bastards. Hitler may have turned quite a lot of Jews into air pollution, but others were also killed in concentartion camps; Slavs, blacks, retards etc. Yet we only hear about the Jews. Still find it funny that the world's most famous Jew kick-started Christianity, blame Jesus for the Crusades. Think of all the blood that has been spilled over that guy. Influential twat.

9/11 is a bit strange. How many people actually dialled 911 in New York that day? Did the terrorists have a dry sense of hunour or is it just a coincidence?

Cynicism and freedom of speech. Such a great combination.

Boo to developers. Yay for Lyla!

I'm tired today. Donna's BBQ last night was fun. Isn't it amazing putting meat in a bread roll and serving alcohol is a great social event?

So I got a bit of an ear-bashing off a developer today, for no apparent reason, other than he was being a human form of vaginal thrush. I'll tell you the story though you'll prbably find it boring.

So I was meant to be meeting a couple of viewers outside this one development, City Gate. I had a viewing previous to this so I was running about ten minutes late. I got to the development and was led into the show apartment by someone who worked for the development company as he told me that's where they were. They were leaving the flat just as I was entering and I asked the developer for the keys to an apartment that we are marketing but have not received the keys for. He then proceeded to tell me that it's my job to show people round flats not his, to which I agreed then added that I was meant to be meeting the couple outside the property, not in the show flat. The he started going on about we shouldn't have the keys to another apartment as the purchaser hadn't actually purchased the apartment, even though we were already marketing the property and showing people round. So I chipped in and told him that he shouldn't release the keys until people have signed contracts and so on and so forth, then turned my back and left the flat. Yeah, you might be a multi-millionaire but don't even try and engage me in an argument, especially when I know you're in the fucking wrong. Shithead.

So now I'm gonna look for hotels/hostels in several European countries, now that my girl has booked her flight and gonna come over and see me next month. Yay for Lyla!

Is there a point to all this?

So another week has come to an abrupt end...for everyone but me! Yes people, I have a weekend of work ahead of me, that being said I have the best days off, Tuesday through Thursday (and Saturday). Yeah, that's right I'm part-time. There was going to be a witty anecdote here but I've forgotten what it was going to be.

This blog is not censored, I actively encourage my readers (Lindell, Daniella and Ly) to comment on this blog with foul and abusive language. That last comment is a reaction to the fact that Lyla has banned me from commenting on Joel's blog, all because she does want Joel's parents to know how crude and sexually liberated her boyfriend is. Or perhaps they do not want to know what their precious baby was getting up to in Liverpool?

So that's about it really, all I Have to add is that I'm looking forward to my girlfriend's internet debut!

Cheer up Martyn

So another Canadian has left me. Joel has buggered off. It was fun, especially smoking up together, haven't had as much fun getting stoned since last summer with my favourite black gay man. He may be the only gay black man I know, but that's beside the point.

I've been in a strange mood since Joel left. His presence meant I had no time for self-pity, now he's gone I have too much time on my hands. Time to think. Time to think that the situation I find myself in is far from ideal. I hope my girl comes over soon.

Tmorrow is going to be mundane. Shower, clean the flat, eat, do laundry - whoopdee fucking do!

That's enough for now. Further ramblings might reveal the true depth of my pain and misery :)

Last night a little piece of me died

I feel as though I've been a good host since Joel arrived in the country. I promised that he would eat well, drink better and smoke up something stupid. This has been achieved, much to our demise!

After a couple of pints before eating, follwed by a bevvy of drink-mixing (lager, bitter, whiskey and belgian ales) after eating - we decided it would be a great idea to smoke up...only after more eating (Hardman pizza is laced with crack!) No doubt we were heavily influenced by our conversation throughout the night, this mainly consisted of how stupid we got when we were stoned. Anyway, we smoked a lot....things were moving, my hands were there on the end of my wrists...but I couldn't feel them, Alan Partridge was very funny (Joel mentioned something about a pseudo-sexual relationship).

I could no longer stand the pace and my stomach decided to empty its contents via my mouth! After this I felt great and could've smoked some more, but my sleepiness got the better of me. I did have a great night's sleep though, and was up and about a long time before Joel was.

So today is FA Cup Final day, I made Joel a fry-up...which included black pudding, which he did try, but still doesn't know that it contains pork blood and lung!!! I'm drinking beer whilst watching the football and the drinking will continue into the small hours due to the fact that people are coming round to mine later and then we're off to Le Bateau. I hope that the 'celebrities' are there, namely Morpheus and Steve Buscemi.

I'm feeling very blank today.

The not quite daily blog...

...has just begun. Internet has now reached my humble abode, so I can communicate with the outside world. Isn't it strange that broadband is a new concept, but relies on technology that was created a hundred years ago. Strange.

Anyway I have a few messages for my readership.

Congratulations to Daniella whom is getting married.

To Lindell - I expect an invite to the stag night. In fact you can come to England for a stag week, and then we have to get you back in time for the wedding. If you make it back on time then the marriage is meant to be, if not then Daniella will be pissed off and the wedding called off. The stag mission. The mission of the stag.

To Lyla - I love you. Thanks for the myspace Earle.