I'm so damn cute

Or so L thinks. Waking up on your birthday is about as fun as life gets.

Strange. I never thought I'd be waking up half naked on a gay guy's living room floor on a shag rug, ON MY BIRTHDAY! Funny thing is, it just seemed so normal. I can't really be bothered to go into the details of the weekend, I'll get round to it on Wednesday.

A couple of new stars in the sky

I have to say goobye to my Great Nanna who passed away this week. I'm not as upset as perhaps I should be, but to be honest it has been on the cards for the last six weeks or so. She was 92 and didn't want to hang around. I suppose that it's a blessing that she went in her sleep. The funeral isn't going to be for another fortnight - but not a lot we can do about it. Goodnight Great Nanna.

Sad news this week also includes the death of probably the greatest footballer ever. Now I know L is going to rant on about his liver transplant and son on and so forth - but don't. The man has died, I think he has learned his lesson. The liver could've gone to someone else, but we don't live in an ideal world. Go well, Georgie Boy.

On a happier note, I turn 22 on Sunday. In fact, it's going to be fun, fun, fun this weekend.

What will be, will be

I've just had a delicious lunch. Leftover leek and mushroom risotto from yesterday, followed by three chocolate digestives. Very tasty.

Nothing much to say really. Halfway through the week and only two more nights alone before I see my girl again. Then in eight days time we're off to Latvia. It's kind of hard to describe how I'm feeling because even though I'm looking to our first trip together, (just the two of, obviously there was Milan) I'm upset at what could be come December. This is playing on my mind so much. I know it's playing on L's too, but let's just have fun and que sera, sera!

Hope and despair

I was honestly going to write about how strange relationships are. But given I only have an hour for lunch and I need to think about how to put my thoughts across, I thought it best to leave it for another day. Ah well, might as well give it a go...

It has finally dawned on L that Christmas isn't far away, with that comes the expiry of her visa. I must admit, from day one, I was thinking about this moment. I prayed that it wouldn't happen but now there's very little we can do and it's pretty much saring us in the face. Sometimes in life we are completely helpless. No matter what we do there is always something in your life that we cannot control. Unfortunately for L and I, it's staying together, then again nobody ever said life was easy. As B said in his text to me on Friday, "My girlfriend's love to go live on the other side of the world." But I know that neither of us can do anything, L's applied to jobs left, right and centre because that's all she can do, and I've done sweet FA because that's all I can do, apart from reassure L that everything will be cool.

It was never meant to come to this and I apologise to L, because she has fallen in love with the right person in the wrong situation.

Irol babycakes, x x x

Mother-fucking, cock-sucking, gang-banging, sons-of-bitches

The reason for me failing to blog on Friday was due to the fact that HSBC have fucked-up a standing order for my rent. £350 left my account on Wednesday, I got a call on Friday from my letting agent asking where the hell my rent money was. I called up HSBC and they managed to put it into the wrong account. I best have that money by the end of the week (I'll try not to get angry as that seems to be an influencing factor in setting off my shakes.) Radio transmission, indeed!

Saturday L and I went ice-skating for T's birthday (a friend from uni), although I didn't skate by myself I thought I did OK, even hough L's arm is suffering now (sorry babycakes!) I did take out a small kid, which was kinda fun. If you can't skate with the big boys, then you shouldn't be skating!

The shakes were bad. Then they stopped, as I lost all feeling in my right arm. It's back to 'normal' again, but I wish all this shaking thing would just quit. If I did have to chop my arm off I could get a prosthetic arm and have a hook for a hand. Bring me Peter Pan!

The weekend goes too quick. I still feel as though it is a day too short, Saturday feels like the only day you have to yourself. Friday evening is over too quick, and a lot of the time I'm too tired to do anything as I'm fucked from the week's events, aka work. Then on Sunday all I think of is that I have to go back to work tomorrow. Damn thoughts. Oh, and I've also been informed that on Friday I missed Sky from Neighbours in a bikini. I hope the TV producers listen to my idea of 'late-night' Neighbours, you know it makes sense!

And so I have another week ahead of me. But I have a friend's 30th to attend this coming weekend, as well as my own 22nd. My favourite gay, black friend is also coming into town next week, though I do think that is more for the 30th than for the 22nd, but it's a long way from Washington to Liverpool so it'll be fun to see him again, as I probably won't see him again for quite a while.

Now I'm going to try and call L and tell her what to do about this Marketing Manager / Business Development job at my work. I also have to try and book my car in at Liverpool airport for when we go to Latvia.

I'm such a cunt!

Yesterday was a bad today. Today is going OK. Tomorrow is going to be fun, because I'm going to see my girlie.

It does seem strange that at such a young age you do wish your life away. Going through five days of bollocks to enjoy yourself for 48 hours. Strange.

Last night I had a dream that my Grandad Charlie died. Yet all I could think was that if my Gran soon followed, I would be in for a large cash windfall. I know what your thinking, I'm a harsh bastard, but my brother and I have had fuck all off them, so fuck 'em. I'm after your money you tight Scottish bastards. That way I can invest in a property and start developing. Winter is coming. They best watch out for slipping on ice and influenza!

Lu actually had tea ready for me when I got back from work yesterday. I stayed on until six, and was pissed off with the work I was doing, so it was nice to get back home and not cook. Mmmm, salmon. Though I did have to tidy up after her. Dyslexic or not, she can still tidy up!

In other news, I'm off to Latvia with my girl in two weeks. Yay!

STOP LOOKING AT ME!

Firstly, I'd like to say well done Australia on beating Uruguay (pronounced U R GAY) in the play-off for the World Cup next year. This is not me brown-nosing the Aussie who has since become an avid reader of this blog (for reasons unknown!) No! I was thoroughly disappointed when the Iranians beat them in the play-off for the 1998 World Cup, but that was just because El Tel was in charge at the time. It's good to see them get through. Hopefully, we'll end up in the same group and twat the bastards like we did in the summer! Ha ha ha!

Anyway....

People. Those that know me, know that I hate people. They're everywhere, they get in my way, I can't understand most of them (be it their language, accent or thoughts.) People piss me off. Perhaps this is why I have few friends? Anyway, now they piss me off even more. Why is it that when somebody asks the time they point at their wrist. I know where my watch is, where the fuck is theirs? I don't point at my crotch when I'm asking someone where the toilet is! Grrr, people!

So I might've had a stroke. Yesterday my head was killing me, today I have two numb fingers on my left hand. Can't feel them whatsoever. It might not have been a stroke, but something is not as it should be. Less than two weeks away from my 22nd birthday and my body is jacking in!

That's all for now.

Love and 'pegging'

Please, please, please
Let me get what I want,
God knows it would be the first time.

So L has now applied for a job in sunny Conwy, Wales. Perhaps she isn't as self-centred as I first thought (many months ago.) When she told me this it got me thinking - what would we do for the person we love? I'm not going to go on about this, as the answer is pure and simple. We'd do anything. Fact. For fuck's sake 18 months ago L lived in the centre of the universe (Washington DC, for those not in the know!) Now she is willing to move to a small town in Wales just for me. Funny thing is love.

Anyway, nothing much to say. Work is OK, apart from an atrocious headache/migraine I had earlier - I thought I had suffered a stroke. I invariably hadn't! Damn body, wish it would sort itself out. I must be the only person in the world that hasn't been to A&E (ER, whatever you wanna call it) but been to see a neurologist. Someone is having a great laugh at my expense. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with people laughing at me, but it could be because I have a lesion on my brain. There is nothing funny about disabled people!

L likes the idea of me in bondage. Does this mean she wants to start 'pegging' me soon? I'm somewhat confused. I wouldn't mind as long as she buttered me up first. Nah, sod it - fuck my ass you bitch! Wooooo! Yippe ky ey! Ride me like a pony!

It's funny how you entertain yourself during your lunchbreak.

I'm not an extremist - how many time do I have to tell you?

This relates to a news story I stumbled across by chance (before any of you think that I'm just picking on disabled people for fun.)

I know I'm going to get a tongue-lashing off my better half for saying this (and anyone else that should stumble across my ramblings of social obeservations)....but should disabled people have kids?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this from an Adolf Hitler point of view. Faulty genes are passed on all the time, some people need glasses, some need hearing aids etc etc. However, when a disabled person has a kid and does not have the ability to look after it, should the taxpayer have to foot the bill for the child to receive the care it needs?

Anyway....

I really enjoyed this last weekend. L came over to Wales and we had a lovely dirty weekend. I provided my vegetarian girlfriend with delicious foodstuffs and wine. She provided me with soft bits to play with! (Now that I have another regular reader, it makes writing about my sex life somewhat strange! Afterall, the only other person to read this blog is my girlfriend.) Oh well, at least I'll probably never meet my Aussie reader, nor wil she know what I look like. Unless she hunts me down on friendster as well!

I digress, yet again. Sunday, L and I visited Conwy Castle and she kept calling me a serf. Perhaps there is a hidden meaning in this. Does she portray herself as the more imortant figure in our relationship? Who knows?

Saturday night we stayed in, watched Goodfellas and did 'things' to one another. During the day we walked along the promenade and pier at (everybody say after me) Llandudno, played on penny slots and searched for a coffee press. Where everybody else failed, Asda succeeded. Thank you Asda.

Friday I made creamy egg cury and L was so impressed that she wants the recipe too. I am becoming a good cook.

No freudian slips.

Words that I like!

Shenanigans. Describes fornication, without being too blunt. Can be used instead of 'fucking.'

Bugger. Used by many as a very mild swear word. Used by me, and others like me to describe anal sex.

Flaps. No matter in what context it is used, it sounds horrifically filthy. The same can be said for 'moist.' Try to avoid using both words in the same sentence.

(I'm eating a doughnut at the moment. Is it possible to eat a doughnut without having to lick your lips and/or your fingers?)

Ecclesiastic. A strange one, especially coming from an atheist. But it rolls off the tongue well.

OOOOOHHHH, and variations of this. Thinking about it, isn't it strange what noises we do come up with when fucking/pissed off/sitting down/standing up/in pain? I might write into the Viz and ask them to come up with an alternative Profanisaurus (cue somebody advertising their own blog about different languages on my comment board!)

Talking about comments, I had my first comment from somebody that I don't know and wasn't advertsing their own blog yesterday. I tried posting a comment on her blog but the site wouldn't let me for some reason. That was disappointing.

Assorted ramblings from a 21 year old

Congrats to L who landed herself an interview yesterday. Hopefully I'll get to keep her for a bit longer yet.

These 6:30am wake-up calls are killing me and the cold that I appear to have acquired won't be doing me any favours. That, and the fact that the best the NHS can offer still don't know what is, or certainly at least, was, wrong with me. So I have another appointment on 5th December to check out my brainwaves. Ooooooo! However, it does work out well, as it means I have an extra day 'holiday' as I get back from Latvia on the 4th. I hope L's parents enjoy their postcard from the former Eastern bloc.

I turn 22 (two little ducks) in seventeen days, joy! I wonder if I'm going to get a big surprise. I honestly can't remember the last time somebody surprised me. Ever! I'd probably enjoy my birthday's a lot more if there was something to enjoy. Last year was good but only because I drank (that's hardly a novelty) and a few mates from back home made the effort to come to Liverpool. This L, is not a hint, just a mere observation of my life...however, if you do decide to do something....

So to the coming wekend. L is coming over to Wales for a weekend of hardcore super sex and cooking. It is quite surprising that I have taken to cooking since getting my flat. God knows, Lu (guess her name) doesn't do any, but she eats everything that I make, methinks I'll have to have words at some point in the near future. Probably have to have a 'food money jar' as well, as I appear to spend more than her!!!! Back to the sex. Coral from work wants to take me home, probably more than my cooking than anything else. She says I'm 'domesticated.' What? As opposed to being 'wild.' I told her I'm not going to be anybody's gimp. Been there, done that, got the suit. However, I will allow her to continue making me coffee, even if it is only instant.

I might try and bake a cake at the weekend. That would be nice.

Three things I just don't get (about the police)

1. Why have they decided to give me a parking ticket for causing an unnecessary obstruction? Why have they not got the balls to say that I was illegally parked? £30 it's going to cost me, then again I could take a chance and defend my name in court. This was for an offence that happened over two months ago, that I followed up and and was told that I did not have a parking ticket. Grrr!

2. Why do they pick on motorists? We pay more tax than any fucker else, we should be allowed to do what we want. Then again catching murderers or kiddy fiddlers just doesn't bring in that extra income.

3. Why not join the army? After all, both kill foreigners for fun.

No update today

This is due to me replying to somebody else's blog.