Testicles and codeine

So my testicle (right) began to swell on Friday evening, so I decided that on Saturday I would go to the hospital, if only to keep L happy. So I thought I'd get there for about 1pm, thinking it wouldn't be that busy on a Saturday lunch time. How wrong could I be?

Anyway, got there for 1pm and I was seen by the triage nurse within 5 minutes and I thought this is good in and out within half an hour. How wrong could I be?

Two and a half hours later I was called in to see the doctor, no offense to young, female Indian doctors but I get the impression that they are not nasty doctors that fuck like bunnies, and therefore do not how to touch a testicle, let alone one that is the size of a snooker ball! Anyway....she took some blood samples and told me to piss in a pot and I duly obliged even though by this time it was 4pm and all I had to drink that day was a small glass of water and a cup of tea! You get the idea.

Then I was told to wait on the bed for the urologist to come down and have a poke about. Two hours later he showed up. Fucker. I understand that he's in a busy profession but by this point I had missed the entire FA Cup Final, grrr! So he told there could be permanent damage, blah blah, blah. Fondled me without latex gloves, no wonder MRSA is strife! Probably sniffed his hands whilst having a wank as soon as I left! Dirty fucker!

Anyway...He gave me codeine which has completely spaced me out for the last couple of days, on Sunday I had to be reminded where I had spent 6 hours of my day the previous day. It's fantastic for the pain but it just fucks you up something stupid - i feel as though I don't give a flying fuck about anything.

Got some new jeans yesterday, seemingly I only look a 7 in them according to L, but she loved the jeans the guy from Death from Above 1979 was wearing, then again I'm not in a band and can only afford jeans that are in the Gap sale. I did buy her Human League's greatest Hits to say thanks for looking after me with my mumpalumps, but I'm not sure whether she's happy with it?

No doubt she'll write something about Lyla being number 1 in the charts, even though it's a load of wanksplat.

Must get a job.

Have things got worse?

My right testicle is now very painful, although it has not swollen, repeat not swollen! This has made it quite difficult to stand up and even moreso, to walk. Grrr! However, my playstation 2 has been delivered so that's good and I got my second interview for the assistant project manager job, of which I'm down to the last two.

I'm feeling like crap and need a bath. I also need a part-time job for here in Liverpool as I don't want to go back to Carlisle.

Sincerely,

Martyn

Can things get any worse?

I now have mumps.

Enough said.

A suicide note

I don't know whether I'm busy or not. I know I should be, I'm stressed like you won't believe - no, not stressed - just annoyed with everything. But what is making me so? Uni work? Probably not. Something tells me it's everything else going on right now.

Who was it that sung 'Nothing going on but the rent'? Anyway, that is true to a certain extent - fucking landlords! Rip you off for living ina shitty student house, then you ask them to cut your contract by a month and they traet you like you've stormed into their house on Christmas Day and pissed on their kids.

How big does your utility bill have to be? £364 for gas and electricity for the last 3/4 months - fucking robbing bastards. Blame Brenadan - the only person in the world that dries his clothes (all of them) on a radiator; so he leaves the fucking heating on for fuck knows how long at a time. Then has no money to pay the bill - Cunt!

Must remember to clean my tie - damn toothpaste!

When I finish university to do list:

1. get job
2. get place to live - a nice place, with a double bed and a clean bathroom and kitchen.
3. get a car - a new one. Probably gonna be a Punto or Corsa, would love a Golf though. BRUM BRUM

Good job I've got a girl otherwise I'll have fuck all.

Goodbye.

Kiss my face

Just got back from an interview in Manchester for what could possibly be the most boring job ever. I'm really glad the interview went badly - HUZZAH! In all fairness I felt like the dog's bollocks walking around Manchester city centre in my suit, ah well. Had a nice vanilla latte as well, so that was good.

To do list:

Call landlord and tell him lies about rent
Call Powergen and take my name off the bills
Sketchup stuff for urban design
Sort out train ticket for my trip to Stoke on Saturday - C'mon Blues!!!
Clean my tie

Can't be arsed to do anything now, even though I'll have to work on this sketchp model, but perhaps that can wait until tomorrow, yeah - that can wait until tomorrow, don't want to tire myself out. I am most hungry now, must go to Asda and forage for food.

Roll on next Tuesday - hurrah for Alton Towers!

Now.............

Kiss my face!

This, that and the other

Interview yesterday went well and he called me back for another interview next week - alas, things are looking good. So much work to do, grrrrr.

Might go back to Carlisle tomorrow to see my beloved Carlisle United play Aldershot Town (bunch of squaddie bastards!) in the 2nd leg of the play-off semi-final. Cum-bri-a my lord, Cum-bri-a, Cum-bri-a my lord, Cum-bri-a, Cum-bri-a my lord, Cum-bri-a, oh lord Cum-bri-a. But I have so much work to do, grrrrr.

My house is a shit tip at the moment, grrrr. Huge leccy and gas bill to pay, grrrrr.

Life is great and life is fine, coz I've met a girl and no one likes you!