Testicles and codeine

So my testicle (right) began to swell on Friday evening, so I decided that on Saturday I would go to the hospital, if only to keep L happy. So I thought I'd get there for about 1pm, thinking it wouldn't be that busy on a Saturday lunch time. How wrong could I be?

Anyway, got there for 1pm and I was seen by the triage nurse within 5 minutes and I thought this is good in and out within half an hour. How wrong could I be?

Two and a half hours later I was called in to see the doctor, no offense to young, female Indian doctors but I get the impression that they are not nasty doctors that fuck like bunnies, and therefore do not how to touch a testicle, let alone one that is the size of a snooker ball! Anyway....she took some blood samples and told me to piss in a pot and I duly obliged even though by this time it was 4pm and all I had to drink that day was a small glass of water and a cup of tea! You get the idea.

Then I was told to wait on the bed for the urologist to come down and have a poke about. Two hours later he showed up. Fucker. I understand that he's in a busy profession but by this point I had missed the entire FA Cup Final, grrr! So he told there could be permanent damage, blah blah, blah. Fondled me without latex gloves, no wonder MRSA is strife! Probably sniffed his hands whilst having a wank as soon as I left! Dirty fucker!

Anyway...He gave me codeine which has completely spaced me out for the last couple of days, on Sunday I had to be reminded where I had spent 6 hours of my day the previous day. It's fantastic for the pain but it just fucks you up something stupid - i feel as though I don't give a flying fuck about anything.

Got some new jeans yesterday, seemingly I only look a 7 in them according to L, but she loved the jeans the guy from Death from Above 1979 was wearing, then again I'm not in a band and can only afford jeans that are in the Gap sale. I did buy her Human League's greatest Hits to say thanks for looking after me with my mumpalumps, but I'm not sure whether she's happy with it?

No doubt she'll write something about Lyla being number 1 in the charts, even though it's a load of wanksplat.

Must get a job.