Yet another Israeli post

So the continued bombing of Lebanon has brought me to the conclusion that the Israeli government are a bunch of foreskin-removing schmuks. The deliberate bombing of an observation post containing UN peacekeepers is tantamount to an act of war, though I highly doubt that a UN peacekeeping force will be making its way into Israel anytime soon.

Reading my blog, people could come to the conclusion that I am a Jew-hater (I don't like the term 'anti-semitist'). I just disagree with their government's military-expansionist policies.

Just to even things up, the only guy I know from Palestine has been arrested for drug dealing and shooting his teacher with an air rifle. So from my experience (albeit very limited) everybody from Palestine shoots people without provocation and deals drugs.

I have also applied for many jobs today.

I fucking hate people

So I was walking through town today to purchase my lottery ticket for tonight and Saturday, and I got angry. I believe that I'm a quite rational person, but I now fucking hate people. Not everybody, just certain people - the people that walk very slowly, weave about and generally don't act as though they know where they're going. And why do I always get them in front of me? I hope their families suffer. For everytime a fellow pedestrian pisses me off I want a member of their family to die. Hopefully, this'll happen a few times so that after a while they'll get really depressed and never leave the house, die, rot and get eaten by maggots.

So my interview yesterday went quite well. I answered all questions he asked me as though I had some idea of what I was talking about, however, it only lasted 30 minutes and as it stands there is no position as of yet - he needs to sort out his budget with his bosses. So I'm awaiting news and will let people know as soon as I do.

I also picked up a ticket to see a film called Atomised tonight. I'm enjoying my weekly jaunt to the pictures.

But I fucking hate people.

The story of Martyn's suits

So here I am. Sat on my couch, finished preparing for my interview tomorrow (at least for tonight) and watching Blackadder III, whilst having a relaxing Kronenbourg 1664.

I'm very tired after getting up early to get a couple of my suits (and a silk tie) dry cleaned, so they could be ready to pick up at 5pm this afternoon. Which they duly were. Dark days are indeed upon me when having my suits dry cleaned is consdiered an extravagance. Though I did acquire a free coat-hanger, which is capable of at least supporting a suit made of paper, that has been recycled, with one leg missing on the pants, minus an ass.

My other suit shall be taken to the tailor's on Wednesday for alterations, as I feel as though it is rather ill-fitting. And indeed, it is beyond me as to why I dropped £200 on the fucker. Oh well, £30 to make it fit is far better than dropping another £200 on another suit.

In other good news, I have prepared for my interview tomorrow, and I also have the advantage of having a two hour train journey to 'top-up' on my interviewing technique. Fingers crossed.

Jon Stewart would be impressed...maybe

So 'the occupier' has decided to go a little mental on their Arab brothers. Ah Jews, you can't beat them...shame. Hitler tried it, didn't do him any good, it got him a bit of a reputation as being evil. Still, I believe he's the greatest politician of the twentieth century. Made a ruined country great again, then with all the reinvestment after the war they go and become of the major economies in the world, as did Japan. Great forward planning by Hitler and Hirohito.

I'd love for Lebanon to have a major ally. That would make things more interesting. Get Egypt and Syria back into the fold and let's have a little six day war again. But America would have to play fair and keep out of it, let the middle-eastern boys sort it out between themselves. Alternatively, all the Jews in Israel can go fuck off to Ethiopia where they're meant to be, and only when that big-bearded bloke in the sky tells them to do so.

The American government goes on about fighting terrorism and how it's difficult because they're not affiliated to any particular country. Israel is a prime example, how many times does the Geneva Convention need to be broken for the UN to take notice? Could it be due to the fact that America have the power of a veto? Surely not.

But history tells us that we have to feel sorry for the Jews because the greatest politician on the twntieth century killed so many of the poor bastards. Sympathy can only get you so far, and when you act like this, that sympathy will become a little thin on the ground. But you'll always have the sympathy of the Americans, and whilst they provide you with money, military knowledge and have that UN veto, I suppose you will stay safe. God bless America, keeping the world safe from North Korea, Dominican Republic, Iraq, Cuba, Grenada and Panama.

Do my blogs put people off?

Due to my somewhat...candid and open nature discussions of certain topics, I feel as though some of my readership have become scared of me.

Well I just thought I'd let everyone know that today in Liverpool, it was rather hot. Uncomfortably hot, compounded by the fact that I had to wear office attire. The hot weather made my balls sweat. A lot.

Sit on my face

So as I delve further into The Unbearable Lightness of Being, I have discovered some more liitle beauties that run parallel to one's life.

1. The difference between the university graduate and the autodidact lies not so much in the extent of knowledge as in the extent of vitality and self-confidence.

2. Anyone whose goal is "something higher" must expect some day to suffer vertigo.

3. ...for Franz, love was not an extension of public life but its antithesis. It meant a longing to put himself up like a prisoner of war must give up his weapon as well. And deprived in advance of defense against a possible blow, he cannot help wondering when the blow will fall.

4. Culture is perishing in overproduction, in an avalanche of words, in the madness of quantity.

And so to the question that I posed to you in my last blog. The answer as we all know is...either. If I so happened to be fucking my girl, I wouldn't really expect eating a coffee soaked hob-nob to be high on my list of priorities. Though it could be used as a metaphor that could he high on Ly's. HA! Whereas, if it were late morning and I'm watching one of the many properyy shows that I invariably watch, a hob-nob and a cup of coffee would be great. Until I think of Ly's poontang and wank myself dry. It's all about context. Lesson over.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being: Martyn's perspective

I'm only 50 or so pages into this book, but a couple of things have already jumped out at me.

1. I might even say that the goal of their lovemaking was not so much pleasure as the sleep that followed it. She especially was affected.

2. For there is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes.

I pose you a question: Which is tastier, a hob nob that has been dunked in coffee, or, pussy? I will give you the answer during my next blog.

Headbutts, anti-Semitism and handjobs

Wireless internet. Such a fantastic invention of man, how this information can flow from one place to another through mid-air - amazing. Aye, but only when it fucking works.

So the World Cup has come to an end. I am disappointed by Zidane's headbutt though. He should've have busted the Italian's fucking nose open. Either way he was going to get sent off, might as well have got sent off for the greatest headbutt in football. Out in a blaze of glory - fantastic. Zinedine Zidane, I salute you.

I do not salute the cheating fucking bastards of Italy. Fascist clowns. God could you imagine that, that would be fucking ace. Hey kids, my name is Mussolini, the fascist clown. I'm going to ride a unicycle for you, then I'm going to kill these Jews, by firing them out of a cannon.

So my lady friend is coming over because she can't get enough of me. Then she can shake white hot coconuts from my veiny love tree whenever she wants. Oh yeah...